Nikita said "early August"
Which means we're 94% of the way there. Maybe. Probably. Who knows?
Hold onto your ushankas, folks! Nikita, in his infinite wisdom and impeccable timing, dropped another "big news" bomb on the latest "TarkovTV" show. Brace yourselves: we're looking at an early August 2024 wipe for our beloved Escape From Tarkov. This earth-shattering revelation comes right on the heels of the "super successful" (their words, not ours) early access launch of Arena Breakout Infinite (ABI). Fans are oscillating between unbridled excitement and that familiar, nagging suspicion that we're being led on a wild goose chase. But hey, Nikita wouldn't do that to us... right? Right?
Buckle up, buttercup. Here's a hastily cobbled together list of promises—er, I mean, "features" from the TarkovTV stream:
Reworked Factory Map
The Factory map is getting a "total rework" with a modified layout and new graphics. Get ready to lose your bearings and your loot in a map that's somehow both familiar and alien. It's like your childhood home, but all the furniture's been replaced with bear traps.
New Arena Trader: Ref
Meet Ref, the special Arena trader who'll offer unique items and the ability to transfer money, GP coins, and special containers to the base game. Will Ref be our new best friend, or just another NPC to disappoint us? Place your bets!
Item Transfers Between Arena and EFT
In a move that absolutely nobody saw coming (and nobody asked for), you can now transfer items between Arena and EFT. Because what Tarkov really needed was more ways to lose your hard-earned gear, am I right?
PvE Solo Players Get a Break
A client-only single-player mode is in the works. No more queueing for hours just to get head-eyes'd by a scav! But don't worry, co-op stays on BSG's servers. You know, for that authentic "disconnected from server" experience we've all come to know and love.
Scavs and Map Selection
Scavs will only choose their map after achieving high reputation. The rest? Random deployment, comrade! It's either grind for rep or embrace the chaos. Nikita's version of "player choice," everyone!
New Melee Weapon: APOK Tactical Wasteland Gladius
Because what Tarkov really needs is another melee weapon to uselessly flail at your enemies with! But wait, there's more! Exclusive keys from Ref, like a special hideout key for Shoreline. As if we needed more reasons to visit that sniper's paradise.
New Game Mode for Arena
The pièce de résistance: a new Arena mode featuring a CS-style defusal scenario on 'Skybridge.' Because if there's one thing Tarkov players have been clamoring for, it's to play Counter-Strike in their hardcore survival shooter.
Technical Improvements
The August patch promises a new armor hitzone system, weapon bracing, bipods, and—hold onto your GPUs—major FPS optimizations. New guns too, because we definitely don't have enough of those. Let's see how many of these actually make it into the game, shall we?
Endgame Content
New hideout zones including a "dingy living room" (for that authentic gamer feel), a cultist room (because we're all cultists for still playing), and a mannequin room (no comment). Oh, and a new boss named Partisan who hunts "bad" players. Jokes on them, we're all bad at Tarkov!
So, with ~7 days until the great gear purge, we're left to ponder a slew of "coming soon" features and the looming shadow of Arena Breakout Infinite. Will BSG actually deliver on their promises this time, or will these join the illustrious ranks of Tarkov's never-ending "planned features"? (Still waiting on that Lighthouse Trader to actually, you know, trade.) For now, let's do what we do best: gear up, embrace the bugs, and hope for the best. Stay tuned for more updates, and don't forget to tune into the PC Gaming Show on June 9th and TwitchCon Europe. Who knows? Maybe we'll get more promises—I mean, exciting reveals and surprises! Remember, in Tarkov, it's not about the loot you lose, but the sanity you sacrifice along the way. See you in the next "when wipe" stream, you beautiful, masochistic bastards!